questions
Posted by Karissa on July 3, 2009 at 10:43:18
In reply to: want to improve the sex and communication posted by lillybee on July 2, 2009 at 10:25:17

	You got great advice below, as ever, I think. Just a couple questions that I would consider... Do you feel generally loved and cared for in the relationship? How important is sex to you (feeling satisfied, anyway)? That's been a tough one to fix when it's not working,in my experience. That he doesn't handle criticism well is kind of concerning to me. You need someone who can take a deep breath and work on themselves at some level, right? Or how can you negotiate out the things that you need? > I want to improve the communication and sex with my SG. He comes from a hard background of abuse and neglect. I have noticed that this makes him sensitive to anything that seems judgmental or critical toward him. He can be snappy and moody. I noticed he became more emotionally selfish as time went on. With sex, he would at times lose his erection and just stop having sex. We did not discuss this. But now it seems that he went from pleasing me and taking his time with me in bed, to him rushing to intercourse and having an orgasm within 2 min. I think he does this because he is afraid to lose his erection? > > Anyway... I’m hoping you guys can help me out. I'm really afraid to bring up these issues. I don't want to hurt his ego. > > How should I approach?? > I want to address this stuff ... but how can I say this in a way that wont push him or scare him away, but firm enough that he takes it seriously: > > 1. Communication between us and how we need to feel comfortable telling each other things that bother us and much as tell each other what we like. > > 2. Physical / sexual and emotional intimacy gaps - and how we can get closer... > > 3. That I feel he should talk with a shrink about his past / emotional struggles / anger
Follow Ups
	Re: questions lillybee 10:57:01 7/3/2009 (0)
Post Followup
	Name:    Subject:    > You got great advice below, as ever, I think. > > Just a couple questions that I would consider... > > Do you feel generally loved and cared for in the relationship? > > How important is sex to you (feeling satisfied, anyway)? That's been a tough one to fix when it's not working,in my experience. > > That he doesn't handle criticism well is kind of concerning to me. You need someone who can take a deep breath and work on themselves at some level, right? Or how can you negotiate out the things that you need? > > > > I want to improve the communication and sex with my SG. He comes from a hard background of abuse and neglect. I have noticed that this makes him sensitive to anything that seems judgmental or critical toward him. He can be snappy and moody. I noticed he became more emotionally selfish as time went on. With sex, he would at times lose his erection and just stop having sex. We did not discuss this. But now it seems that he went from pleasing me and taking his time with me in bed, to him rushing to intercourse and having an orgasm within 2 min. I think he does this because he is afraid to lose his erection? > > > > Anyway... I’m hoping you guys can help me out. I'm really afraid to bring up these issues. I don't want to hurt his ego. > > > > How should I approach?? > > I want to address this stuff ... but how can I say this in a way that wont push him or scare him away, but firm enough that he takes it seriously: > > > > 1. Communication between us and how we need to feel comfortable telling each other things that bother us and much as tell each other what we like. > > > > 2. Physical / sexual and emotional intimacy gaps - and how we can get closer... > > > > 3. That I feel he should talk with a shrink about his past / emotional struggles / anger
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