I don't know your story... ()

I don't know your story...
Posted by movin_silence on July 3, 2009 at 20:27:45

In reply to: Re: And my story...* posted by I am strong on July 3, 2009 at 18:39:02*

...but were you aware your man was married at the time you started, and decided to stay, in this A? While i really do understand the anger that comes from caring/loving someone more than they do us, I am also aware that I was a willing participant in this pain I'm now experiecning. I had to take some ownership in this, because I knew the situation I was walking into. I didn't think I'd fall this hard, nor did I bother to stop and think about the ramifications if I did. Well, now I'm living it. It's not his fault; I acted irresponsibly to myself. Now it's up to me to stop the rollercoaster. So waht I'm trying to say is, blowing up his world will only hurt a lot of innocent people and will leave you feeling shittier than you do now. What you can do is make the choice for YOU to Stop hurting YOU.

...is an example of just how fine some Xmm are w/endings...out of sight out of mind for the most part..So I thought it better to take the reigns & end the bullshit now.
> >
> > Beleive me I know that just the thought is too painful, but in the end, you have to call the shots. MM can go on in this current status of limbo indefinitely(provided there is still sex in it for them). I realized I had to the make the decisions for Both of us. Otherwise, everything remains the same. ((Hugs))
> >
> > Moving past the relationship and getting over what's done and finished doesn't start until you stop worrying about how your actions affect him, and focus solely on how his continuing words and actions affect you. And how your own actions affect you as well.
> > > Don't ask how he is going to handle anything. He's a big boy. He'll be fine. The only concern you need to have is how does ongoing contact with him help YOU to heal and get over the R?
>
> I appreciate everyones thoughts,hugs, advise and stories. I know I will get through this in time. Still having trouble swallowing the whole mess. I feel like a storm just hit my life and the damage has been done. I don't know if I am crazy but I have to be honest , when I hear that these mm are almost identical in the way they act and the things they say and do I get infuriated to the point I want to blow his world apart.

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Very glad to read this... Kat 13:20:30 7/4/2009 (0)

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> ...but were you aware your man was married at the time you started, and decided to stay, in this A? While i really do understand the anger that comes from caring/loving someone more than they do us, I am also aware that I was a willing participant in this pain I'm now experiecning. I had to take some ownership in this, because I knew the situation I was walking into. I didn't think I'd fall this hard, nor did I bother to stop and think about the ramifications if I did. Well, now I'm living it. It's not his fault; I acted irresponsibly to myself. Now it's up to me to stop the rollercoaster. So waht I'm trying to say is, blowing up his world will only hurt a lot of innocent people and will leave you feeling shittier than you do now. What you can do is make the choice for YOU to Stop hurting YOU. > > > ...is an example of just how fine some Xmm are w/endings...out of sight out of mind for the most part..So I thought it better to take the reigns & end the bullshit now. > > > > > > Beleive me I know that just the thought is too painful, but in the end, you have to call the shots. MM can go on in this current status of limbo indefinitely(provided there is still sex in it for them). I realized I had to the make the decisions for Both of us. Otherwise, everything remains the same. ((Hugs)) > > > > > > Moving past the relationship and getting over what's done and finished doesn't start until you stop worrying about how your actions affect him, and focus solely on how his continuing words and actions affect you. And how your own actions affect you as well. > > > > Don't ask how he is going to handle anything. He's a big boy. He'll be fine. The only concern you need to have is how does ongoing contact with him help YOU to heal and get over the R? > > > > I appreciate everyones thoughts,hugs, advise and stories. I know I will get through this in time. Still having trouble swallowing the whole mess. I feel like a storm just hit my life and the damage has been done. I don't know if I am crazy but I have to be honest , when I hear that these mm are almost identical in the way they act and the things they say and do I get infuriated to the point I want to blow his world apart.