so true ()

so true
Posted by Angelfood on July 3, 2009 at 21:44:19

In reply to: Ya know...* posted by Folie on July 3, 2009 at 19:39:40*

Hey Folie! So happy to see you and glad things are good!

I just wanted to say that you struck a nerve for me with this post (not in a bad way), because I'm coming to recognize how poor my OWN communication skills are, and what a problem that is for me and for any relationship that I'm in. I have a terrible habit of just noting a big problem, and shutting down over it, instead of being able to talk about it (much like you described).

Recognizing my own shortcomings in this very important area is forcing me to take ownership over a lot of "problems" I've seen in my most recent relationship. Some of which are really just a problem of me not communicating - or communicating poorly - more than any insurmmountable issue with the relationship itself.

I'm learning. It's hard - both to admit to bad habits, and to change them. But I take a lot of hope from your post. Thanks for putting this up here!

> I've only recently found out that you can have it all in one relationship and the reason that I posted to Lillybee is that from the word "go" I was scared to death of it and the thing that made it possible (aside from some darn good luck) and continues to make it work is that we both constantly communicate. We know what each others expectations are and we know what's important to each other. Do we totally agree on everything? Nope. Are we both willing to compromise and respect each other's opinions? Absolutely.
>
> There have been a couple of times when I really, really, really thought that something had come up that was going to be a total deal breaker and didn't think that it was worth it to even discuss ~ b/c that's what I've been used to... that someone wouldn't compromise w/ me on things that are important to me. But this time, I took a deep breath and told him what was bothering me and why and we figured it out. I'd say that he's done the same thing, but he hasn't b/c he thinks I'm perfect. LOL! And really, if you can't communicate well, who cares about the sparks or being able to be still w/ someone? ;)

Follow Ups

Soooo glad Folie 23:55:03 7/3/2009 (0)

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> Hey Folie! So happy to see you and glad things are good! > > I just wanted to say that you struck a nerve for me with this post (not in a bad way), because I'm coming to recognize how poor my OWN communication skills are, and what a problem that is for me and for any relationship that I'm in. I have a terrible habit of just noting a big problem, and shutting down over it, instead of being able to talk about it (much like you described). > > Recognizing my own shortcomings in this very important area is forcing me to take ownership over a lot of "problems" I've seen in my most recent relationship. Some of which are really just a problem of me not communicating - or communicating poorly - more than any insurmmountable issue with the relationship itself. > > I'm learning. It's hard - both to admit to bad habits, and to change them. But I take a lot of hope from your post. Thanks for putting this up here! > > > > > I've only recently found out that you can have it all in one relationship and the reason that I posted to Lillybee is that from the word "go" I was scared to death of it and the thing that made it possible (aside from some darn good luck) and continues to make it work is that we both constantly communicate. We know what each others expectations are and we know what's important to each other. Do we totally agree on everything? Nope. Are we both willing to compromise and respect each other's opinions? Absolutely. > > > > There have been a couple of times when I really, really, really thought that something had come up that was going to be a total deal breaker and didn't think that it was worth it to even discuss ~ b/c that's what I've been used to... that someone wouldn't compromise w/ me on things that are important to me. But this time, I took a deep breath and told him what was bothering me and why and we figured it out. I'd say that he's done the same thing, but he hasn't b/c he thinks I'm perfect. LOL! And really, if you can't communicate well, who cares about the sparks or being able to be still w/ someone? ;)