Three months... ()

Three months...
Posted by Folie on March 11, 2010 at 22:52:30

In reply to: Thank You All and the Next Question* posted by YetAnotherTOW on March 11, 2010 at 15:29:01*

is way too soon, imo, to expect to be back to "normal" after ending an EMR.

In my case, we are friends now. Three months after the break-up (while he was still married) I saw him at work ~ he'd been called out for something or other and he said "Look, you cut your hair." I walked right by him and said "Go f*ck yourself." Five months after we *really* broke up ~ after his divorce ~ I totally cracked... complete with a "three day rest." Wasn't all b/c of him, but he had a lot to do with it. I was a disaster ~ obviously. We just finally got it figured out. Do we still love each other? In our way. We both know that it's never going to work b/w us. Do we tell each other that we love each other? Yup. Never stopped doing that. It means something different after all this time. At first, the subtext was "I love you and I'm sad that this has all fallen apart after all the time we put in and all we risked and all we went thru." Over time, it became "I love you and I'm glad that we had the time that we did and I really care about you and your well-being."

And undestand that "friends" doesn't mean that we talk or chat on the computer or visit each other regularly. It just means that we're friends. I don't know what it would be like if we lived in the same city. I can't imagine us double dating or having each other over for bar-be-ques or anything like that. I can imagine us having lunch or drinks alone... and I know where that would lead. There's a strong connection ~ and a very strong sexual connection ~ b/w us. At the same time ~ anytime something bad happens in my life, he has this uncanny ability to pop up and check in on me b/c he was thinking about me. He's just always there when I need him. Heck ~ when he realized that my current beau was actually a good guy and it was serious, he asked me to pass on some advice to him about me. I won't share, b/c it involves me being a totally stubborn, pain in the behind and very insistant about things that I want and I'm usually Little Miss Laid Back ~ oh heck... He said "Tell him that as sweet and wonderful as you are, when you want something from the relationship, he better give it to you b/c you become a total pain in the a$$ and are stubborn as they come until you get it. On the upside, you're always right. But it takes a *strong* man to deal with you. If he doesn't run the first time that happens or give you his balls in a jar, KEEP HIM!" LOL!!! What can I say? He knows me! And he's given me the most solid relationship advice I've ever gotten. But it ain't like we're hanging out. We just went thru so much together and were always honest with each other and that's a rare thing... and one that we decided to hang onto. I call his bs. He calls mine. And then we say "Damn it ~ you're right." Would I want to meet his girlfriend? Nope. As ridiculous as it sounds ~ he's mine. I had him first. Would I want to have drinks w/ him and my beau? Nope. Did that once years ago with my ex-fiance and it was a TOTAL disaster. We have a pact that if he gets remarried or I get married, we won't invite each other ~ b/c there's still to much b/w us that people pick up on. Uncomfortable. (And b/c niether of us is beyond being that person that stands up when objections are asked for and we don't want to see it...) So, that's our version of "friends." Not the easiest of relationships to manage and that's why I'm glad that it's so sporadic. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but I'm glad that we have it.

Follow Ups

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Best Girls looking reciprocation for men USA.Constitutional sex. AduLIoninee 22:08:22 3/31/2010 (0)

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> is way too soon, imo, to expect to be back to "normal" after ending an EMR. > > In my case, we are friends now. Three months after the break-up (while he was still married) I saw him at work ~ he'd been called out for something or other and he said "Look, you cut your hair." I walked right by him and said "Go fck yourself." Five months after we really* broke up ~ after his divorce ~ I totally cracked... complete with a "three day rest." Wasn't all b/c of him, but he had a lot to do with it. I was a disaster ~ obviously. We just finally got it figured out. Do we still love each other? In our way. We both know that it's never going to work b/w us. Do we tell each other that we love each other? Yup. Never stopped doing that. It means something different after all this time. At first, the subtext was "I love you and I'm sad that this has all fallen apart after all the time we put in and all we risked and all we went thru." Over time, it became "I love you and I'm glad that we had the time that we did and I really care about you and your well-being." > > And undestand that "friends" doesn't mean that we talk or chat on the computer or visit each other regularly. It just means that we're friends. I don't know what it would be like if we lived in the same city. I can't imagine us double dating or having each other over for bar-be-ques or anything like that. I can imagine us having lunch or drinks alone... and I know where that would lead. There's a strong connection ~ and a very strong sexual connection ~ b/w us. At the same time ~ anytime something bad happens in my life, he has this uncanny ability to pop up and check in on me b/c he was thinking about me. He's just always there when I need him. Heck ~ when he realized that my current beau was actually a good guy and it was serious, he asked me to pass on some advice to him about me. I won't share, b/c it involves me being a totally stubborn, pain in the behind and very insistant about things that I want and I'm usually Little Miss Laid Back ~ oh heck... He said "Tell him that as sweet and wonderful as you are, when you want something from the relationship, he better give it to you b/c you become a total pain in the a$$ and are stubborn as they come until you get it. On the upside, you're always right. But it takes a strong man to deal with you. If he doesn't run the first time that happens or give you his balls in a jar, KEEP HIM!" LOL!!! What can I say? He knows me! And he's given me the most solid relationship advice I've ever gotten. But it ain't like we're hanging out. We just went thru so much together and were always honest with each other and that's a rare thing... and one that we decided to hang onto. I call his bs. He calls mine. And then we say "Damn it ~ you're right." Would I want to meet his girlfriend? Nope. As ridiculous as it sounds ~ he's mine. I had him first. Would I want to have drinks w/ him and my beau? Nope. Did that once years ago with my ex-fiance and it was a TOTAL disaster. We have a pact that if he gets remarried or I get married, we won't invite each other ~ b/c there's still to much b/w us that people pick up on. Uncomfortable. (And b/c niether of us is beyond being that person that stands up when objections are asked for and we don't want to see it...) So, that's our version of "friends." Not the easiest of relationships to manage and that's why I'm glad that it's so sporadic. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but I'm glad that we have it.