A real question ()

A real question
Posted by Angelfood on July 29, 2010 at 11:25:34

In reply to: struggling* posted by Kel on July 29, 2010 at 10:05:08*

Kel - are you in therapy, or have you been in therapy in the past? If you've been in the past - it's probably time to go back. If you've never been, it's probably time to think about starting.

SOMETHING is going on for you underneath the surface if you are struggling over walking away from this MM. You'd already been NC for 3 years, yet you reached out to him. Upon reconnecting, he was nothing but a complete ass towards you. And you were only back in touch for a few weeks ...

The fact that walking away from this jerk is so hard for you, and that you are still pondering that decision, tells me that your struggle has NOTHING to do with "how awesome" MM is, or "how in love" you are/were ... I'm not a shrink, but I know enough to tell you that you are struggling with YOU, not with the decision to leave MM in the dust.

Just forcing yourself to keep the NC isn't going to fix the underlying issues that are making this so difficult for you. In another 3 years, you may find yourself right back in this same place with this same guy. Or, with a different one.

Good luck Kel

> I'm struggling, just like many others here. I'll be ok, but, the one thing that bothers me about going NC with XMM is that, I just ended it, no explanation, nothing.
> I wonder if this is just me wanting to reach out, or is it truly the right way to end things...like, should I explain myself and say goodbye? End it peacefully, put it all to rest...of course, then, I would get sucked in all over again or hurt I'm sure. uggghh

Follow Ups

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Post Followup

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Subject:
> Kel - are you in therapy, or have you been in therapy in the past? If you've been in the past - it's probably time to go back. If you've never been, it's probably time to think about starting. > > SOMETHING is going on for you underneath the surface if you are struggling over walking away from this MM. You'd already been NC for 3 years, yet you reached out to him. Upon reconnecting, he was nothing but a complete ass towards you. And you were only back in touch for a few weeks ... > > The fact that walking away from this jerk is so hard for you, and that you are still pondering that decision, tells me that your struggle has NOTHING to do with "how awesome" MM is, or "how in love" you are/were ... I'm not a shrink, but I know enough to tell you that you are struggling with YOU, not with the decision to leave MM in the dust. > > Just forcing yourself to keep the NC isn't going to fix the underlying issues that are making this so difficult for you. In another 3 years, you may find yourself right back in this same place with this same guy. Or, with a different one. > > Good luck Kel > > > > > I'm struggling, just like many others here. I'll be ok, but, the one thing that bothers me about going NC with XMM is that, I just ended it, no explanation, nothing. > > I wonder if this is just me wanting to reach out, or is it truly the right way to end things...like, should I explain myself and say goodbye? End it peacefully, put it all to rest...of course, then, I would get sucked in all over again or hurt I'm sure. uggghh