Re: Came to my senses ()

Re: Came to my senses
Posted by Orchid on July 31, 2010 at 06:59:57

In reply to: Came to my senses* posted by Sasha on July 30, 2010 at 12:07:56*

> OK I finally came to my senses and realized why I "dumped", his words not mine, my MM 20 yrs ago. Basically he is a wishy washy wuss, and no I didnt ask him to leave the W. I dont want him to. So I sent him a straight forward email explaining things, short and sweet ending with "So my dear MM, Good Bye and I wish you the best." I would have done it in person but we live too far apart.
>
> He replies with "Lets just say ciao for now and let things fall/happen as they may. " He is such a wuss he cant even say good bye. I am like WTF did I ever see in him, I "dumped" him because he was always wishy washy, I thought he grew out of it but did not. I like a man who can stand up for himself.
> Gosh I am happy to be ending this self-inflicted drama. ( yeah right lets see how long this time lasts)
>
>
'Wishy Washy' is Commitment Phobia in my book.And I think MOST MM's are like that.And yes,it's about as immature and annoying as it get's.It might be gettng bothersome,but I leave these websites because I hope to validate points being made with psychological facts.It helped me stay FAR away from her husband once I woke up to the reality of him,it was alot easier not to fall for the 'charmer' with passive aggressive tendencies!

I BEGGED mine to say Goodbye...so I could get some closure.NOPE.
He had to be the one doing the unceremonious discarding so he could feel some amount of control.I finally GAVE the hell up on him,drove to his house,said GOODBYE...and rode off into the sunset 1200 miles away from him.BEST decision I ever made.

>Gosh I am happy to be ending this self-inflicted drama. ( yeah right lets see how long this time lasts)

It will last as long as you don't forget who he is at the core.
They may be sexy as all hell,because they are unavailable and keep us chasing them,but they have limited ability to be REAL MEN in either relationship!!

Mine even told me I should be relieved he chose her....I am.Big time.

http://www.simplysolo.com/relationships/how_to_spot_a_commitment_phobic.html

They are often unfaithful in relationships.

Severe commitment phobics rarely lower their defences because they don’t want to get too close to a woman, or vice versa. If they do, they usually only give little pieces of their soul in well- planned instalments, except if they are having an affair. Affairs are perfect for commitment phobics as they feel completely safe to disclose and to chase, as commitment is not an option while they are in another relationship.

And the list goes on and on.I saw almost ALL these traits in her husband and was damn glad she got stuck with him and I didn't.

Orchid

Follow Ups

Re: Came to my senses Sasha 11:30:01 7/31/2010 (3)
- Re: Came to my senses Orchid 07:27:58 8/1/2010 (2)
  - Re: Came to my senses Sasha 11:43:01 8/1/2010 (1)
    - Re: Came to my senses Orchid 15:40:21 8/1/2010 (0)

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> > OK I finally came to my senses and realized why I "dumped", his words not mine, my MM 20 yrs ago. Basically he is a wishy washy wuss, and no I didnt ask him to leave the W. I dont want him to. So I sent him a straight forward email explaining things, short and sweet ending with "So my dear MM, Good Bye and I wish you the best." I would have done it in person but we live too far apart. > > > > He replies with "Lets just say ciao for now and let things fall/happen as they may. " He is such a wuss he cant even say good bye. I am like WTF did I ever see in him, I "dumped" him because he was always wishy washy, I thought he grew out of it but did not. I like a man who can stand up for himself. > > Gosh I am happy to be ending this self-inflicted drama. ( yeah right lets see how long this time lasts) > > > > > 'Wishy Washy' is Commitment Phobia in my book.And I think MOST MM's are like that.And yes,it's about as immature and annoying as it get's.It might be gettng bothersome,but I leave these websites because I hope to validate points being made with psychological facts.It helped me stay FAR away from her husband once I woke up to the reality of him,it was alot easier not to fall for the 'charmer' with passive aggressive tendencies! > > I BEGGED mine to say Goodbye...so I could get some closure.NOPE. > He had to be the one doing the unceremonious discarding so he could feel some amount of control.I finally GAVE the hell up on him,drove to his house,said GOODBYE...and rode off into the sunset 1200 miles away from him.BEST decision I ever made. > > >Gosh I am happy to be ending this self-inflicted drama. ( yeah right lets see how long this time lasts) > > It will last as long as you don't forget who he is at the core. > They may be sexy as all hell,because they are unavailable and keep us chasing them,but they have limited ability to be REAL MEN in either relationship!! > > Mine even told me I should be relieved he chose her....I am.Big time. > > > > > http://www.simplysolo.com/relationships/how_to_spot_a_commitment_phobic.html > > They are often unfaithful in relationships. > > Severe commitment phobics rarely lower their defences because they don’t want to get too close to a woman, or vice versa. If they do, they usually only give little pieces of their soul in well- planned instalments, except if they are having an affair. Affairs are perfect for commitment phobics as they feel completely safe to disclose and to chase, as commitment is not an option while they are in another relationship. > > And the list goes on and on.I saw almost ALL these traits in her husband and was damn glad she got stuck with him and I didn't. > > Orchid