My H fathered a child with OW

Dear Emerald,

My husband and i just found out that he has fathered a child by another woman. This woman has waited 11 years to tell us about this child. It has destroyed my marriaged I have been in love with this man for 16 years .

What i want to know is this is there such a law against adultry in VA. I want to know if i could bring charges on her for helping to destroy my marriage.

Thank you for all the help that you can give me.

Signed,
Very Hurt

Dear Very Hurt -

Perhaps I am the wrong person to ask. I certainly will not tell you what you want to hear.

This child was conceived 11 years ago. How has your marriage been since then? Have you had a good 11 years with your husband?

There is an 11 year old child in the world who is your husband's. To me, that is the only thing that matters. There is an 11 year old hild who'se biological father is your husband.

Deal with your marriage with your husband. Do what you need to do. Get angry, get furious, kick him out, make him grovel to come back, get therapy, counseling, grieve, vent, ... do the works. Do whatever you need to do.

But do not forget that this child is innocent. Purely innocent. This child, like every child in the world, deserves one thing and one thing only: love.

If the OW is a psycho, get her out of your lives. But if you even consider for a second making that child suffer because of something your husband did... well, you can fill in the blanks yourself.

I know you don't want to hear this. I'm sorry you are in pain.

- e

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