I have been engaged for the past 10 months, and have been having an affair for the past 9 months. The person who I am having the affair with knew about my engagement, but still pursued me. I was very attracted to him both physically and emotionally and I gave in to his pursuit.
In the beginning of the affair he wanted me to leave my fiance to be with him, but I was not ready. He was in another long-distance relationship with someone who is in his culture (he is from another culture). I found out about her and was very upset. He said he would have left her for me if it wasn't for the ring on my finger. He recently married her (I think she is pregnant) but our affair is still going on.
We have the most amazing physical relationship ever and we just click with everything else too. I have fallen in love with him and can't think of anyone but him. I wish I was marrying him instead of my fiance. Ihave never told him how I really feel about him. I think he has the same feelings for me but we are too afraid to tell each other how we really feel.
Should I tell him how I feel or just leave the relationship so I won't continue to be a homewrecker? Will it do any good to tell him now that he is married to someone else? His wife is very suspicious of him and he has almost gotten caught several times, yet he still wants to see me. I still want to see him too and can't seem to end the relationship. Any advice?
Hi.
Yes, I do have advice. Actually, it is a plea.
Please do not get married, OK? I mean, you are in love with someone who is not your fiance. Unless you are in an arranged marriage, this is not an especially great start to a lifetime commitment to a partner. Are you hearing that?
I think it is really important for you to get that straight, first.
I am not sure telling your MM about your feelings will change the situation except that then, you two can openly tell each other you love each other while he stays married.
I do not mean to be a cynic. It's just that from what you wrote, he had opportunities to leave the woman he married, and he didn't. They got pregnant instead.
You have a lot of choices to face. I would focus first on this man you call your fiance. Does "until death do you part" sound appealing? If not, please bow out now.
Love - e
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