Ominous, ever present;
Like a vulture awaiting the feast,
Is my painful knowledge
That even as I hold you
Nearer and nearer to my heart,
One day I may no longer have that right.
With each rising sun, I suffer
The myriad of emotion,
As my love for you thrives
Wild and untamed.
I am restrained by the chains of your world;
A self-imposed exile of duty and devotion.
With each rising moon, I explore myself
And try to see myself as you do.
I am not strong.
Yet in my desire to protect your heart,
I would portray myself as such.
I am not generous.
Yet in my need to love you
I would endure my isolation.
I am not beautiful.
For in my longing to remain with you,
I must control the piqued
Jealous beast that lurks
Just beneath my skin.
I am not at peace.
For each day I fight to maintain
What remains of a mind that grew wings
On the day you took my hand.
And even as I love you,
And even as I cherish you and vow
"someday" and "forever",
I say a silent, sorrowful farewell
And live with my imminent exile.
I will fall passively, with scarcely a sound.
For I could no more compel you to be with me
Than I could force you to stop loving.
But on the eve of my banishment
Search the sky for a radiant star.
For that will be the light
That once lived in my eyes.
And listen to the wind
For in it you will hear my weeping.
And feel a warm rain flow across your skin
For that will be my tears.
And know that I do not go peacefully
Across this bridge of my life without you.
