Ivy

I never thought I'd end up in a situation like the one I'm in now. But here I am.

We were childhood sweethearts. But when we were ready to graduate from high school, he wanted to marry then and start a family right away and I didn't. So we went our separate ways for a while. I went to college and worked in the Midwest and he stayed on the East Coast. I came home for a visit a few times a year over the next three years. I had excepted a job that was going to take me overseas and came home to spend time with my family before the transition. I went over his mom's house to visit with the family and he happened to be there. He was involved at the time with the woman that would become his W, but even then he was having his doubts. Over the next few days we talked a lot about the past and unresolved feelings between the two of us. One thing lead to another and we ended up in bed. (Funny, we never did when we were dating). The next day he called my mother's home only to find I had left to go to Europe. I could have told him not to go through with marrying her, but I didn't think it was the right thing to do. She wanted a family and children and I still wasn't ready for that. So I left.

We managed to stay in touch over the years, sometimes seeing he and his family at a school reunion or inquiring about each other through friends. About six years ago I moved back to the area and happened to pass each other in a store. At first, we just renewed the friendship. I'd never married but at the time was seeing someone and he was still married. Then I had a series of mishaps. I broke up with my long-time boyfriend and my father had passed away. He came to see me about three months after these occurrences. Over the next couple of years we just continued to talk about a variety of things, but the subject of us didn't come up. Then one day when we were to meet at my house for a business/friendly lunch, all suppressed feelings and emotions came out. We've been like that to this day.

I believe we would make a wonderful couple. We have the same interest and dreams and I know if it all sped tomorrow, he would still be my friend. But I don't if I want to marry. If he left her, I would probably tell him to take the time to explore if really wanted to go from one relationship right into another one, in spite of the fact he loves me and I him. The only thing I'm sure of is the attachment we've had since we were children will never fade despite of how we end up.