Fooled

I met my MM when he was in the process of divorce with his first wife. He cheated on her, one of the reasons she filed. During that time, we became friends and also started dating. I never took him seriously in the relationship because I knew of other women that he had been seeing as well. I walked cautiously for he was definitely going thru the rebound stages. This went of for about 3 months and one day he came to me and told me he had to make a decision between me and the other person he began to see regularly and of course chose to date her. 2 weeks after this discussion, he telephoned me and of course we started seeing eachother again, but he continued to see the other woman as well.

Within the next 6 months, he finalized his divorce and on that day took a trip with the other woman to attend her family reunion. Well, they returned and he continued to call me.

One of our last phone conversations was month later when he called to tell me that she was pregnant and he was getting married! I was shocked, hurt, disappointed, etc., but managed to go on with my life. 5 months after his marriage with wife 7 months pregnant he contacted me. Said he desperately needed to talk, he had made a big mistake. I met him. Did not expect what was going to happen next but we had sex. I was 29 years old at the time, single, dating and having a wonderful life. Those were the last wonderful years that I remember because since that day, 8 years later, I am still involved with the MM. His promises to make a change were continuous. But during those promises, they managed to get pregnant again and have baby number 2. He thought it was Grande on his part to be the first to tell me so I didn't have to hear it on the street!! Well, I was three years into it when baby 2 came along. What I unfolded after that was a living nightmare. I find out that MM was not only seeing me, but 6 other women in our community! We are in the healthcare profession and gossip flows quite quickly~~ I busted him. He broke it off with all of the other women and continued to come around. Guess what~~ !!! I went back to him. I tolerated another 3 or 4 years with some breaks in between and on my 36th birthday, still single, no children (which I wanted terribly) I go thru this major manic/depressive week, months???? But I called his wife and told her. (She had caught us 3 years prior thru a private investigator). I told his wife just enough, no specifics, just that I thought her husband was a cruel man and had a cheating heart. Well, as expected, he disowned me from that day on, they stayed together and continued to flaunt their rich lifestyle and live as though nothing had happened. After about 8 months, I was able and was he, to say hello in passing. Well, guess what.... We started it again.

I just celebrated my 37th birthday with MM. Still no commitment, no kids, no life etc. I have told him about this board that I stumbled across a week ago, I am emailing him all of the common MM lies, stories, acts, etc., to try and prove to him that our lives have been filled with lies, distrust, etc., and that I feel used, wasted a lot of years, missed having kids or any form of normalcy thru my prime years. They were devoted to him exclusively except for some dates/flings that I had in between breakups... He has gotten it all. Where do I go from here? How do I put those years behind me? How, how, how!!! ???