Airport

I started my part-time job at the airport on Mayst. I saw my MM the first day when I went to get my ID. I knew when I saw him that he was the one and I wasn't even looking. I tried to tell myself that I was there to make money---not make friends, so I ignored him for about 3 months. During that 3 months, I noticed him checking me out by talking to everyone around me except me. I also noticed how he couldn't keep his eyes off me whenever he was around and I could not either. Finally, around late August, early September, we began shooting the breeze with eachother by having light chit chat about much of nothing. Whatever we did not say with our mouths, we spoke with our eyes. It was obvious, there was a connection.

As time went on, he would talk to me more and more, still about nothing. Then he would begin to ask about my work schedule. He always wanted to know when I was going to be there. While I noticed that we enjoyed talking with eachother, I did not notice that my co-workers were checking everything out.

A couple of them mentioned how they never saw him up at the checkpoint much during the week, but that seemingly, on the weekends whenever I was there, that he would be up there more and that he would talk to me more than he would to anybody else. I just played it off and acted like they were off track.

More time passed, it was mid-September, I got impatient because he was not in hot pursuit of me and I sent him a poem. It was a silly way of saying to him that if he liked me, it was okay. He played it off and when I got around to asking him what he thought of the poem, he told me that it was deep and in so many words that it scared him. So I backed off---for a little while. I decided to send him another poem. The response from him was better and the response time was even better. I guess because it was a dirty poem and though he wore a uniform and carried himself like a gentleman, and always treated me like a lady, I could tell that he really was into sex.

After writing the last poem, I cooked lunch for him and took it to work because I heard that his wife could not cook. His response was so-so and I felt like shit. I decided at that point not to continue to try so hard and to really back off and I had decided in my mind that he could go to hell. Well, guess what? That is when he started to come around and he made his first real date with me (if you want to call it that). We agreed to meet at my house one morning and be together. We both knew what we wanted. He was here early, I told him that I was on my period and could not do anything. Well, looking at this sexy ass man in my bed on of the covers watching television with me got to me after a while. Also, I had not had sex in over a year. And you know he could not keep his hands off me. So, of course, I gave in. We had a wonderful time, he said that he did not want a relationship and that it would be business. So I told him that I would have to have money for my time and he understood that. However, he still wanted to know when I would be working and what my schedule was---I know--it's just business, right?

Well, I don't know what is going to happen now. Maybe I should not have gone to bed with him so fast, but I am 38, he is at least 40ish and there is no need to act like we are6 with alot of time on our hands because that is not the case. He has children and I am a single mother who works 3 sometimes 4 jobs. I am a big girl now and I have probably handled worse things.

I can't wait to see him this weekend, I hope he is thinking of me as I am him, and I hope we will get together real soon again but I am not going to get my hopes up. I am going to let him play everything his way and I am going to try to keep from getting too emotionally involved with him. I am going to try real hard to keep things in perspective by not giving in to what I am really capable of feeling for him.