SameOldStory

As I read through everyone's stories, I am comforted to know that I'm not alone. But at the same time, I'm horrified to realize that my situation is not unique at all - I feel like nothing but a statistic. I have allowed myself to become the stereotypical OW, listening to the same old excuses, believing the same old lies, forgiving the same old broken promises.

My affair has been going on for one year. Like so many others, he was my boss at work. Vicious rumors practically destroyed my credibility and reputation at the office, so finally I quit the job. But unlike many others, I never had any tolerance for his marriage. Life is short - there's no time to martyr our happiness for the sake of someone else's desperation, namely the W. "If you're unhappy, leave!" I'd yell at him. "You're not doing your kids any favors by creating a facade just so they can have both parents in the house." And I know he agrees, but for some unexplained reason, he's still there.

Like the typical MM, he's promised to leave. He's told the W that he's leaving. He's told his parents that he's leaving. He's gone to therapy to work out his guilt about leaving. He's even rented an apartment and installed a phone line. But guess what? Months later, he has not left. He keeps telling me "this weekend, I'm going to start bringing my stuff over there." And every time, I wait and wait in hopeful, excited anticipation. But he does not bring the stuff over. And he does not leave. And I am devastated.

Finally, I made up my mind that I was not going to listen any more. I cut off all communication with him for weeks, which seemed like years. He called today, saying he has an "annoucement" and would like to meet me for drinks tomorrow. I can hear it now. He's going to tell me that he's leaving next weekend, and this time, he means it.

I am not - and I mean NOT - subjecting myself to any more of this back-and-forth emotional torture. I desperately need to either commit to this or move on with my life. But WHEN do I believe him? When he's out? When SOME of his stuff is out? When ALL of his stuff is out? When he's stayed away for a month without moving back in? When he files for seperation/divorce? WHEN is it finally over? When will I know?