Shawn

Hi - My name is Shawn and I would like to share my story and get feedback if I could from others who have "been there". And not feel blasted for it.

I met a man at my job back in May of9, and we went to lunch a couple of times. We are both married, and talked about current events, our spouses, etc. After a few outings, I realized he was not happily married and I was not either, so we basically became each other's support system, nothing more. Then we realized later on what tremendous attraction and chemistry we both had for each other.

One night after work, we went out for drinks and wound up parking at the beach and kissing for hours like back in high school. What an incredible emotional high. We started to see each other regularly when we both could, and hence, the affair began. It became very heated and we told each other we loved each other; he bought me expensive gifts, one of them being a diamond tennis bracelet which he called a precursor to an engagement ring. I never felt such intense emotions in my life. Meanwhile, his wife moved out and agreed to a divorce. I had also talked this over with my husband (divorce), and wanted desparately to be with my MM. Meanwhile, he gets a job transfer to Dallas. He assures me he would help me in any way to move out there and once our divorces were final, we could get married. We even talked about having children together. Don't get me wrong; we both are not horrible people and were not out to hurt our spouses, this truly just happened and we both thought we met the "love of our lives". Well, he moved to Dallas in mid-September, and came to see me once, the beginning of October. We had a wonderful weekend. He was to come back in two weeks, but he cancelled his plans, saying his wife was not doing well. >From then on, there was one excuse after another not to see me. The holidays roll around. He spends them with her, while my husband and I have long separated and I am alone. January rolls around, and he says he will come and see me the middle of the month. My heart jumps for joy, I miss him and love him so much. Then he cancels again, saying he really needs to try and work things out with his wife and he would feel guilty seeing me. I am heartbroken and let down for what seems like the hundreth time. Then I find out he is moving back to Florida and they are moving back in together and seeking counseling. He says he still loves me, but needs to try and work it out with her. Meanwhile he says he thinks of me all the time and feels like a part of him is missing without me. BUT, when I try to make plans for us to get together, he says he can't - he would feel too guilty, that I am a wonderful beautiful woman, and that I should not wait on him.

WHAT IS UP WITH ALL OF THIS? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME - I CANNOT GET HIM OFF OF MY MIND - DO THEY EVER LEAVE THEIR WIVES???