Gagp

Thirteen years ago I was involved with a married man whom I was crazyabout.I ended the relationship because I was ready to settle down.I gotmarried, had 2 kids, moved to another state, but never forgot thisperson.My marriage has been very rocky for 8 years and this past Januaryon a whim I paged my former lover, and after all these years the numberwas the same and we started things up again.We talked long distanceevery day for 7 months and then I went on vacation in July to my homestate and began seeing him.This was the most wonderful relationship, wewere so close,sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings. We were trulyhappy we found each other again after all this time.We were the love ofeach others life.I couldn't wait to move there permanently so we couldbe together.

But he is torn between his love for me and his marriage of 20 years, hishistory.Because I love him so much it tears me apart,I need more out ofa relationship than just seeing each other a couple times a week sneakingaround.I want it all, and the truth is, he's still unavailable.I couldwait for him because I believe what we have is so sweet and so special,but it's too big a risk to take.So 2 weeks ago I ended it, and I am in ahuge amount of pain.It was hard walking away from the love of my life,but I know it was the right thing to do.I hope when he figures out whohe wants it'll be me, but until then I have to have a life other thanhim.

Otherwise what I'm doing is like wanting mexican food and going to achinese restaurant to get it.