Alexis

No one plans to have an extramarital affair... that would be stupid. As passionate and exciting as they can be, they never happen without some degree of heartache. My story is somewhat typical except for two things: one, my husband is not an ogre. He is a most loving and giving man that most women would give their all to call their own. I love him tremendously. Two, I don't ever expect, or want, my MM to leave his W for me or anyone else, although I love him too.

So why is it? Well it's simple. I found in my MM something that was seriously lacking in my relationship with H: some common ground. Our friendship has grown over the past two years to a deep, caring and loving friendship. Sex, of course, happens; it's what drove this intimacy that now exists between us. But it never seems to be the driving force in our relationship. It's excellent and passionate and something we cherish occasionally, but both of us look forward to any time we can spend together regardless of what we're doing.

Does it mean that doubts, pain and loneliness don't happen? Of course not. We feel jealousy, insecurity and anger sometimes. The Mars in our relationship, my Venus doesn't always understand. And, I'm sure, vice versa.

He says it's forever. I think it must be because as much as my guilt drove me to end our relationship a few times, I can't seem to do it. It's good, it's what I need, and it's what keeps my life happy. So, how bad can that be?