Cray

How we met really isn't important...other than to say that ithappened. And that we were both intrigued with one another. Opposites, but not opposing. We started spending more and more time together, sharingthe intimate details of our lives, our histories...except for an important detail - that he was married. After 2 months of becoming friends...of recognizing ourselves in one another, he let the bomb drop. One Saturdaynight he sat me down and told me...after prefacing his confession with hisfear that I would now leave him...and how sorry he was that he hadn't told me earlier, but that he hadn't known he would fall in love...funny thing, that phrase "falling in love"...as if stepping over a precipice.

I was devastated and felt I had to leave. So, I tried. But how doyou leave your best friend? Even knowing that it is the "right" thing to do? We made a decision to maintain our emotional involvement and to refrain fromany physical involvement. We have kept this promise for 4 months now.

At this point, he and his wife have admitted to one another that ifnot for their children, they would not be together...they have developed and"uneasy peace" while they decide what to do.

And I wait, knowing that he may not leave. I offer him my supportwhen he needs it, as he does me. I offer him no advice as to what he should or should not do. I have given myself an internal time-limit to remain in this relationship as it is. He is working with a therapist to help sort outhis decision. I find myself strangely calm knowing that he may not leave. And sometimes terrified at the thought that he might.