Sinatra

I am a 28 year-old OM. I met my MW at work (she is my partner, sitting a breath away from me on2-hour nightshift) after an eight-year span of loneliness. I closed myself down and simply hung out with friends until I got to know me and felt that I was ready to seek out a relationship. Then, one day, the boss brings her in and I clearly remember my first words to her: "Get out while you still can." I could very well have been speaking to myself.

We became friends first, flirting in the "Moonlighting" bicker-mixed-with-sizzle style. She was the most frustrating trainee and she drove me nuts, being the impatient, anal-retentive worker I am. One day, I came home from work and I missed her. I missed her. I knew she was married, which was a damn-near biblical NO in my book, but these feelings were happening, and soon I realized that I was feeling something stronger here than I ever have with anyone I'd been with in "normal" relationships. I sought out hints from her and got them.

Meanwhile, our friendship grew, flourished, and it was so easy and comfortable to open up to her and to let her world unfold into mine. The chemistry is electric and everybody in the office new before we did. She had been trying to initiate things outside of work, and I fought it for a while. Then, one Tuesday, we met for a movie and a little shopping. I brought her home and we sat on the couch and watched tv, when suddenly, we were holding hands. At that moment, I knew.

The next day at work, I learn that she is pregnant--with the H's child. My heart sank. Regardless of their marital problems, he now had a hold on her that was forever, and he'd always be a part of her life. I recovered from that pain and we admitted our love for one another and began full-fledged dating.

The H showed little interest in the child growing in her tummy at first. I was the first person to feel it kick. I talk to it and it responds to my voice. When she was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, I went to all the tests to comfort and strengthen her. I even went to the Diabetes training class with her and learned how to give injections (to myself! And I hate needles!). Our relationship evolved monthly, like her pregnancy, and soon we became physically involved, which only strengthened our bond. I love this woman and am now emotionally involved with her unborn child.

As it stands, the child is due in June. She is emotionally torn between her H and me, and has decided that no decision will be made until the child is born. I have decided, painfully, to put a time limit on her decision. I'm giving until October, and then, I must be true to myself and end it. Whether or not I'll have the strength to live up to that is yet to be seen.

It was such a relief to find this web site and the stories and questions in the FAQ have really helped me. With the pregnancy, my story is a little different, but the same loving and painful dynamics are there. Now, all I can do is wait and dream...but not too far.